A TAPPING … by Paul Schroeder

A tapping, delicately, on my back.

I am sitting up on a table, feeling gentle taps on my back, watching a series of images, myriad tables receding into infinity, like two mirrors facing each other.

Farmers milking cows; on each table, a person sits up and is examined by a small, slim, white, intent, fragile, large eyed creature.

Their fingers probe lightly, gently, purposely, like playing a piano.

They are milking Chakras or Kundalini nerve centers, seven along each person’s spine.

Their touches stimulate hidden DNA sequences as well as retrieve and store data and information along the length of the spinal chord, along a library of nerves.

A tapping, delicately, on my back.

 

Like ants milking aphids they spend careful time and effort, gently, delicately, fingering each spine in a long sequence of tables, like marionettes playing human harpsichords.

These manipulations of spinal nerves initiate secret, as yet unbidden DNA sequences, which dangerously age and disease and trouble the somatic body and mind of an abductee.

(After an incident my finger and toe nails had to be trimmed twice every day; early sequences causes acceleration of aging and growth of certain cells.)

There are horrible psychic and emotional results from activation of these spinal sequences too quickly, as well.

Inter dimensional leaking occurs and one senses other unworldly creatures and flirts with the beast of madness, itself.

 

 

Are we being programmed?

What is subtly being programmed, stored and retrieved In our spinal chords?

We are Manchurian candidates of stellar proportions.

Inter dimensional bleeding through into our dimension? Pranks predominate. Objects disappear to return days later in strange places, and there’s always a powerful sense of being watched by large eyes.

On a Tuesday afternoon in late June, I entered the back of the house, passed by enormous four foot wide, four foot tall flower pots, each weighing as much as a man, containing ten foot tall Canna plants, looking tropical in nature and in full bloom.

I opened the back door and entered the vestibule into the kitchen; I could not take another step.

Glancing backwards, over my shoulder, I saw that both enormous pots had been turned over.

 

The wide elephant, ear-like leaves and tall orange-red flower tops now bloomed sideways, sprawled to the ground, in a fraction of a second.

I became suddenly aware of a very untoward realization.

I would likely need entity removal and aura cleaning and protection, as in addition to this poltergeist nonsense, I was besieged with elements of telepathic attack: nightly evil nightmares, a sense of pervading anxiety and a confluence of accidents and surgeries.

And all these experiences AFTER my sightings of UFOs and recalling some abductions.

Presence of mind is our greatest weapon, the ridicule factor, is their best

 

defense.

 

Who, in one’s ‘right mind’ can one even discuss these things with?

Paper, is indeed, much more patient, than people.

Why did things get worse?

In deep despair and confusion, (the plants overturned, overwhelmed me with poltergeist shock that was so sudden and so profound), I stopped and prayed aloud for a spiritual sign.

Asks for a sign from God

“God, if there is a spirit world and it is real, and I can ask for protection, send me a sign: God, send me a white bird, up close and personal, in my face, on my window, as a sign.”

 

I put my whole heart and soul and angst into this prayer and minutes later, busy else where, I forgot it, as it promptly receded into the recesses of my mind.

The next day, on route to work, following the same path I always drive, I made a right turn, and high over the street of cars, I saw a cloud of some one hundred gulls, hovering, wheeling, circling overhead, as if attracted by garbage or a dumpster, although none was in evidence.

As I glanced up at the raucous flock, one white gull swerved to within an inch of my windshield, glossed passed and made eye contact with me.

It lasted maybe two seconds.

 

(Illustration by Matthew Whiting.)

Preoccupied with driving and having totally forgotten my fervent spiritual request from the night before, I drove on, momentarily startled, but dully unaware of it’s significance.

After a strenuous day at work I returned home, lit a prayer candle and began to voice again my special request for a sign when I remembered the morning gull.

I HAD asked for a white bird on my window, up close and personal.

Had I been given that sign the very next morning?

I decided to be skeptical but not cynical.

 

What would be a critical test?

I decided that If I saw any gulls in the area anywhere while in transit on the way to work for the next two weeks, I would know that it was a coincidence or a quirk of fate, not a sign that I asked for.

Repeatedly, in my minds-eye, I was haunted with an odd afterimage, a close up of the birds black beadlike eye.

Why was the black eye of that bird, which whizzed passed so fast, so fixed in my mind?

For two weeks, each day, I scanned the horizon and landscape for a sign of gulls hovering, as I believed a flock so large would certainly reappear somewhere.

I never saw one bird.

 

I decided that I had been given a wonderful sign and it has given me the courage and the confidence to feel protected in this fight against the unseen harassing entities.

Postscript:

Abductions and their remnant elusive memories have opened all this for Paul, a confirmed atheist, UNTIL Paul saw aliens float him out of his body, in his bed, at night.

Then, he knew that they were interested in an essence that he never suspected that he had, a nonphysical soul.

Our spiritual powers that interest and addict inter-dimensionals are the very powers that can be used to thwart further attacks.

They infect auras with attachments to themselves and ride the reincarnation roller coaster with human beings, as a sanctuary, to avoid the death that they fear and to steal the spiritual recycling that we have.

Souls are garnered, detoured from our natural spiritual evolution in Heaven.

These joyriding grays can be sinister, dis-corporate alien souls, stuck to our energies, who bring a new meaning to the concept of a silent invasion.

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UFO and ALIEN DISCLOSURE? : A FROG PARABLE

by Paul Schroeder

Scientists and researchers in SETI and NASA, for more than sixty years, have seemingly ignored tens of thousands of reports of alien encounters by abductees, the world over, and patently ignored the evidence of UFO photographs taken by aircraft gun cameras from many nations, even though

 

 NASA’s space astronauts have been quoted saying that they know for sure that we are being visited:

Major Gordon Cooper:

“I believe that these extra-terrestrial vehicles and their crews are visiting this planet from other planets..
. Most astronauts were reluctant to discuss UFOs.”
“I did have occasion in 1951 to have two days of observation of many flights of them, of different sizes, flying in fighter formation, generally from east to west over Europe.”

Donald Slayton:

“I was testing a P-51 fighter in Minneapolis when I spotted this object.

I was at about 10,000 feet on a nice, bright, sunny afternoon. I thought the object was a kite, then I realized that no kite is gonna fly that high.
” As I got closer it looked like a weather balloon, grey and about three feet in diameter.
But as soon as I got behind the darn thing it didn’t look like a balloon anymore.
It looked like a saucer, a disk.
About the same time, I realized that it was suddenly going away from me – and there I was, running at about 300 miles per hour.

I tracked it for a little way, and then all of a sudden the damn thing just took off. It pulled about a 45 degree climbing turn and accelerated and just flat disappeared.”

Robert White:

 

“I have no idea what it could be.
It was grayish in color and about thirty to forty feet away.”
Then according to a Time Magazine article, Major White exclaimed over the radio:
“There ARE things out there! There absolutely is!”
Joseph A. Walker:
He had filmed five or six UFOs during his record breaking fifty-mile-high flight in April, 1962.
It was the second time he had filmed UFOs in flight.
During a lecture at the Second National Conference on the Peaceful Uses of Space Research in Seattle, Washington he said: “I don’t feel like speculating about them.
All I know is what appeared on the film which was developed after the flight.”

Aliens Abduction GIF

Eugene Cernan:

 In a Los Angeles Times article in 1973 he said, about UFOs: “…I’ve been asked (about UFOs) and I’ve said publicly I thought they (UFOs) were somebody else, some other civilization

Neil Armstrong:

 

According to the NASA Astronaut Neil Armstrong, “the Aliens have a base on the Moon and told us in no uncertain terms to get off and stay off the Moon.”

unidentified-flying-object-stuff: “ the human soul could really be what the abduction phenomenon is all about ”

Scott Carpenter:

 

“At no time, when the astronauts were in space were they alone: there was a constant surveillance by UFOs.”

Religious fundamentalism will never accept that God, who creates sentient life, and Universes, does not ever, remotely inspire or  write books.

The Jewish Book of Fairy-tales mislead and helmeted the world in its accurate portrayal of “God”, as a vengeful, vindictive , quite mean-spirited ‘God’.

This was an intentional  masquerade that deceived Hebrews as it has fooled every other past civilization.

The sinister beings, likely reptilians, required obedience at the pain of death , provided a contrivance as a weapon and communication device (Ark of the Covenant), and that blood be splashed onto all four corners of the sacrificial altar,  more akin to demonic requirements, than divine.

 

They required that their Hebrew food-source did not poison them, when eaten (Kosher-dietary laws).

Our All-Loving God is down a long hall and somewhere else , a realization vectored away, by the Old Testament’s accounts of alien domination.

I have a precautionary frog story, for NASA and SETI,

and even worse, for the untold many hundreds of millions of world citizens who they have either knowingly duped,
a story that teaches the dangers of having cultivated a closed unimaginative mind.
.

Contrary to what SETI or NASA both state about not discovering the presence of aliens, Earth is and has long been a major crossroads for many species of alien races,
 a myriad variety of alien entities seen, but predominantly unseen and elusive, who frequent this planet.

But these truths are not self evident to we

 

late last year I made this big ol’ frog print for one of my classes! it was really fun, especially since we had to make it so big. The full-size print I have on my wall is 22x14 and it’s only slightly smaller than my cork board that’s under...
‘frogs’, who now dwell in abject ignorance about this mind boggling, greater truth:

Twice upon a time (maybe, even thrice upon a time), a frog who lived by the side of a vast blue-green ocean visited his distant frog cousin who lived very far away in a deep, small well in a very dark, small well.

.

“Isn’t my world amazing ?
Isn’t it wonderful and complex and totally beautiful?!”, said the cousin frog who lived in the cave in the dark deep well.
And the relative frog who lived by the side of a vast blue-green ocean said;”One day, my cousin, you must come and visit with me and see where I live and visit my home.
Frog shields its partner from the rain | Photography by ©Kutub Uddin facebook.com/AwesomeEarthPix
So it came to pass, that his cousin, one day, packed his suitcase and left his small well in the dark cave and traveled far to visit his cousin frog who lived by the wave-driven blue-green oceanImage result for tumblr gifs of frogs
And when the cousin from the small cave got there, he saw his frog cousin’s house on the beach and he viewed the unlimited expanse and spectacular majesty of the shore and the blue-green ocean,
and his head exploded

and he died.

Image result for tumblr gifs of exploding frogs head

TAKEN : AN ABDUCTEE TURNS THE TABLES ON AN ABDUCTION

TAKEN : AN ALIEN ABDUCTEE TURNS THE TABLES ON AN ABDUCTION

 

He had been taken from the desert, in Texas, when he was seven years old.

His father, shot-gun in hand, and he had been climbing rocky outbreaks amidst cactus and scrub.

They had hunted coyote there before,

and had used a coyote lure, a blow- into device that produced a sound that resembled a rabbit’s cry of pain; with their backs to the setting sun to blind the predator’s approach, they had shot and killed six, that evening.

But soon they had been prey and not predator.

A craft had appeared overhead.

It had appeared from nowhere, instantly.

It was blue like the sky, slowly changing to brown, like the desert floor, then silver, ‘smart-skin’ camouflage, as though the color progression change of metal cooling.

Later, when his father had awoken, a shell had been discharged, missing from the chamber, but he had no memory of ever firing the gun.

The seven year old had been swept aloft into an overhead craft and examined by small, dark, large-eyed, hairless beings with large pear-shaped heads extended in the back.Alien Mind Scan
They had a thin torso, long arms with three long fingers, spindly legs, no ears and mere slits for mouth.

The large black eyes strangely had compelling power.

“You will not remember!”

But he had remembered..

He had felt pain unlike any ever imagined and he screamed

The large black-wet eyes had stared at him endlessly, extensively, close up to his head.

https://i1.wp.com/www.veteranstoday.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/alien-midway.jpg

“This will not hurt.”, they had said.

But agony had suffused lines and channels throughout his body.

Terror, rage and pain had overcome him.

The creatures had been puzzled by his pain, saying,” You will not remember.”

When he was returned to the desert floor, some forty minutes later, his father  looked switched off, eyes glazed.

 

Saliva dribbled from the right corner of his mouth.

It was his sobbing, he had then believed that had awoken his father.

His father had told him that he had imagined and dreamed it.

“The Texas sun can give you heat stroke, make you see things”, he had said, holding the shaking boy close and placing a hand over his son’s forehead.

” Let’s find some shade.”

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They had walked to the shade of hemlock and mesquite at the foot of rock outgrowth and had eaten bologna sandwiches with yellow mustard and had washed it down with canteen water.

During this, the child had held his father’s hand and  had not let go.

 

While his father had chewed slowly and watched his son in puzzlement, the child had stared upwards in fear.

When he was seventeen,  an abduction’s violence became mutual, one night  :

UK20SeplargeScotland.jpg

Photo taken over Scotland on September 20, 2011

*One night, a creepy psychic feeling had prevailed, and aware of them, and their approach, he had pretended to be asleep, had gone into deep, regular breathing, and had visualized a dream he would like to be in, but instead, he had waited.

‘The wallpaper on three walls had distorted and bulged and animal-like small snouts and pear-shaped grey heads, on small creatures had waggled in rapid fashion, back and forth.

They had seemed to melt out of his bedroom walls, had stood coldly  to surround him and his bed, one close by his side, two at the foot-board, and another by the doorway.

He had jumped up and had grabbed the closest one to him around the neck, had clutched the feather-like being’s back to his own chest, pinioning him.

The creature had frantically struggled to hit him with a small hand-held rod-like device, but the pillows had

prevented the creature from reaching the teenager’s body with it.

In panic, the lightweight creature had squirmed and had thrashed in the boy’s tightening grip.

The others had in quick moves, like jumping spiders, scattered from the tight circle.

He had tightened his grip and had squeezed hard until

something brittle had snapped in the creature’s neck.

Suddenly the scene had changed and he had seen his whole family, brother, mother and father surgically eviscerated, but alive and in tears.

On a black floor under hospital lights, had been lungs, intestines, strewn amidst their gore,  and as they had laid there amidst their organs, they had pleaded with their eyes for him to save them.

The image had been so real that it had successfully worked to confuse, startle and distract him.

He had been convinced that real harm had come to his family and he had quickly loosened his grip.

His parents  had writhed in agony, butchered horribly in front of his eyes.

There had been a dank, musty smell that had then permeated the bedroom.

The creature in his arms, in self protection, in desperate panic to free itself,  had flashed the imagery into his mind, but he was sure he had killed one of them.Alien Mind Scan

They never came for him physically, after that night;  when he was safely deep within R.EM. sleep.

 

They would tease away, vibrate out his astral energies/ soul, from his body, like chop-meat left behind in bed, in alien astral abductions, and he’d awaken with vivid screen memory “bad dreams”, feeling bereft, completely unable, in out of body abductions, to strike  back at his tormentors.

I once read that another abductee wrote:
‘A leap in consciousness will require a dissolution and restructuring of your beliefs about the nature of reality’.

For me now, the concept of, “sleep” and “dreams” have forever been altered.

To my mind, for one to live unburdened by an insatiable curiosity to comprehend the mysteries of the motives and tactics of  the pilots of UFOs in our universe, is in itself, quite an amazing thing.

Muscular, winged, sentient, highly technological, upright standing to eight feet tall, scaled reptilian alien beings, with webbing between their claws, yellow/red cat-like eyes, rule the galaxy and command UFOs..

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These upright saurian ‘monitor lizards’, Moth-men, alien reptilians who look upon us, as we fancy veal, were the Gods of Nordic, Sumerian, Mayan, Greek myths and the ancient Hebrews of Old Testament Bible.

What have abductees gleaned about our being  alien food?

Small Greys, synthetic-job-beings with no digestive tract, bathe in a solution of human fluids, endocrines to absorb them as food through their skin.

And reptilians eat human babies and youngsters, a delicacy whose flesh isn’t yet inundated with drugs and chemicals.

Highly advanced Nazi type aliens have always relished us, on this preserve of theirs, that we call, “Earth”, and as ancient masqueraders of “God”, ordered

ancients to follow Biblical kosher laws,  fed them manna-, just as we feed corn to Omaha cattle and grains to snails to improve their culinary flavor.

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The mystery of dietary commandments unfurls as

human  farming , from the beginnings of time,  as we animal ‘husband’  living creatures who we  later slaughter, and  eat.

What could be worse?

Rather than seen as a sentient race, we are

a simian crop, to Draco reptilians,  who revealed their punishing diabolical brilliance,  to insure that human “diet” , by an ancient  masquerade of a possessive , demanding, Biblical ‘God’.

‘The history of mankind has been punctuated by personalities who refused to be bound by the grand illusion of space and time, seekers who penetrated the limitations of space and form.’ an abductee wrote.

‘Knowing that the aliens reside in a different reality explains why this whole UFO phenomenon is so slippery; we exist within a matrix of other realities all merging in one spot: the mind.’

‘Their world coexists with our own intimately intertwined and separated by the thinnest veil- our arrogant assumption that we are the sole proprietors of the only reality.’

It is essential to think  about what too many researchers have gleaned :

that we are stuck in an reptilian imposed matrix, a time-space created / tethered- play-pen dimension, on their preserve for us, that we call, “Earth”.

The best E.T. Draconian Reptilians games-keepers, never let the creatures in a preserve ever remotely suspect that it is, indeed, a preserve…

No automatic alt text available.

 

One must  think of our world,  wrapped in a dream, for after a nightmare, one awakens to think, “It was only just a dream.”

And the world, is very much like that.

And I know that Earth is being invaded, one person at a time, and that abductees, are alone, all together..

POSTSCRIPT:

:

Rather than a fear-based approach to Dark Force Entity safety and caution, I prescribe a required spiritual “shift”  towards the equally unseen goodness of the spirit world, and away from fear.

Unlearning fear is a step by step acceptance and assertion, of one’s spiritual ‘self’, a distance far and away from fearful  defenses mustered by one’s material physical self.

One’s longitudinal approach to any self-defense must be a spiritual one, and not a physical one.

For defenses to flare, one must  recognize that one is not a person having troubled spiritual problems, but instead an eternal soul having troubling human experiences.

From the stance of self-recognition as an eternal spirit, one can then insist on “one’s own space’ as spiritual fruition.

Avoid  church-based , organized religions and force yourself to put the Bible on the same shelf, as the Tooth Fairy ;

God, is real, but He has always been down a long hall, and somewhere else..

*based, in part on a Gulf Breeze account, from the sixties.

BIO:

Abductions and their remnant elusive memories have opened all this for Paul, a confirmed atheist, UNTIL Paul saw aliens float him out of his body, in his bed, at night.

Then, he knew that they were interested in an essence that he never suspected that he had: a nonphysical soul.

Our spiritual powers that interest and addict interdimensionals are the very powers that can be used to thwart further attacks.

They infect auras with attachments to themselves and ride the reincarnation roller coaster with human beings, as a sanctuary, to avoid the death that they fear and to steal the spiritual recycling that we have.

Souls are garnered, detoured from our natural spiritual evolution in Heaven.

These joyriding grays can be sinister, discorporate alien souls, stuck to our energies, who bring a new meaning to the concept of a silent invasion.

HOW TO RECOGNIZE AND SURVIVE A SERIAL KILLER ENCOUNTER

How to Recognize and Survive the Approach of a Serial Killer

by Paul Schroeder
(“There are two kinds of serial killers as far as the victim is concerned: the kind that you don’t see before they pounce on you and the kind you see and don’t expect to pounce on you.
There are many more serial killers living outside the prison walls than inside.”
Pat Brown)

The expression,”serial killer”, denotes the word, ‘serial’, which means, successful killer .

Ted Bundy said that he often wore his arm in a sling to perfectly trap random compassionate women, who traveled to his car door to assist him with his theatrical ‘struggle’ with packages.

These outgoing, caring women were brutally clubbed into his trunk for later torture.

Serial murderers who instead of passion, kill in ‘cold blood’, and  do not know their victims, beforehand, for they kill randomly, purposefully moving from town to town, city to city, without any remote tinge of latent regret or  accumulative  feelings of guilt.

Unlike a murder of marital or  organized crime Mafia passion, there is no plan for a pre- dug grave or a methodical bother to dismember the corpse.

They make no attempt to hide the bodies of their victims.

They  stop on a deserted road and open the hood of their car to flag down a helpful motorist to kill them with a gun.

Back into the victim’s stolen car, in the next town,

they  lure a child into a car by asking them to help find a lost puppy or by offering them a kitten from a box of kittens, which disarms any child, and then  stab the child to death.

Later that night, they stop at a truck stop to pick up a prostitute to then strangle her afterwards leaving her body on the side of the road.

They remember to be most careful to use a different method of murder, each time to confuse police efforts from various jurisdictions, from establishing an M. O. pattern

that links random killings into a single silhouette, the  fingerprint of a singular serial murderer.

Interstate highways lend a unique anonymous isolation to the mentality that serial killers love and use:

Truckstops are high risk areas, as are truckers, themselves, and especially long off-ramps are  over represented with highway murder deaths, a study of  murder statistics show.

A big, friendly, helpful smile, or a helpful assist from a total stranger, is the last thing one will ever see and one will never see it coming, the guise of

serial killer psychopaths .

These serial killer psychopaths travel from state to state blithely killing random people, leaving corpses on roadsides the way that we leave cigarette butts, without a single afterthought ,

psychopaths who from childhood, have had  their consciences, all of their lives, sit in the corner, like a well trained German Shepard .

There is an unspoken spiritual truth, and it is that

such serial killers are demonically, Dark Force Entity possessed, humans.

Unlike unpossessed people, such Dark Force Entity humans do not return  to Heaven, our truest dimension, when they die, but instead are ‘shuttled’ through another and darkest ‘door’, directly back into another human fetus to reenter our world again.

Unlike most of us, who spend  time in between lifetimes, to garner spirit helpers and spirit guides, to prepare us for each arduous successive incarnation, serial killers enter back into this harsh world without a written ‘blueprint’, without spirit helpers and without  protecting angels.

These dark souls do again return to become serial murderers,


killing a long series of  innocent, unsuspecting people and as such theyall manifest the same three exact, precise signature evil  traits of demonic Dark Force Entities: sinister, predatory and self justifying.

Such”psychopaths”, possessed and guided by demonic entities within,

cannot be reformed or changed.

There is nothing that one can ever do to change such a Dark Force Entity in  human form.

It is good advice that one should avoid them, sidestep them, and never attempt to tackle them head on.

But one CAN recognize and survive an encounter with such a serial killer predator, by

taking careful notes from serial murderers who have explained their ‘trade-craft’

( from Internet unknown source):

” Trust your intuition:

Do not ignore your instincts or intuition.

You have likely recognized something indefinite that spells out danger, and your mind has not caught up with your recognition – you do not yet perceive how to dissect it logically.

This is intuition.

If something does not feel right, then it is not right.

Never ignore such inklings; do not be embarrassed to change your mind in front of a stranger or have fear of being rude.

It’s better to be rude than dead.

Under no circumstances get into the Car:

Once victims get into the car, few return alive and are later found dead at a secondary crime scene.

Whether you’re helping some stranger carry a package to the car, being offered a ride, or having someone else near your car, they can all end with you being murdered.

The presence of a baby seat or children’s toys in the vehicle – or even children themselves- are tools that a serial killer uses to mentally disarm victims.

The Green River Killer, Gary Ridgeway, once returned to a body dump site to have sex with the corpse of one of his victims while his son slept in the vehicle.

– Serial Killer Warning Signs of Entrapment-:

A Pretended injury/weakness:

The murderer makes a huge effort to let you know that he is physically weaker than you.

He may stumble and drop packages

“Please help me carry this to my car. Ever since my spine injury, I can hardly move.”

He may wear a cast or walk with a cane in the Ted Bundy method, to trap his victim.

Too much information:

The murderer will give you too much unnecessary, detailed information:

“My sister has a sweater just like that. She was living in California but she moved home last year. Her boyfriend gave it to her for Christmas, but afterward they broke up …”

When such a serial murderer is telling a lie, though it sounds credible to you, he often has little confidence in his talking-trap method and will tend to add too much detail, more than necessary to support it.

This ruse of details makes a serial murderer seem less a stranger and appear more familiar than he really is.

The un requested promise:

“Just one drink and then I will take you home, I swear!”, when you never asked him to promise you anything.

Sudden unsolicited promises can be a sign of an underlying sinister agenda.

Friendly authority:

The stranger projects some kind of non threatening authority:

“I’m the security guard/ the park ranger/ a police officer.”

“You didn’t see the signs; this is closed. I’ll escort/drive you out of here.”

‘You shouldn’t be alone here; we are on the lookout for a serial killer in this neighborhood. Get in and I’ll drive you out of here.”

No law enforcement official would tell you that there was a serial killer, for

they avoid giving outside knowledge TO  ANYONE of an ongoing case for media avoidance purposes.

Some serial killers come tricked out with police identification and police-like vehicles.

Insist that he call a uniformed backup if you did nothing wrong but are being “arrested.”

Challenging your personality:

The killer labels you, in a critical way, hoping that you will attempt to prove them wrong, “You’re too weak to help me lift this box into the back of my van.”

“You’re not frightened of me, are you?”

Teaming:

Often a killer will manipulate you to “team up” with him.

You and he instantly become a “we” – “I hate drinking alone, I know a great place we can go to up the road.”

“I’m going there too, we can get there in my car.”

This attempt to bond with you is a way to quickly establish a familiarity.

Imposed obligation:

A serial killer will impose his help on you, hoping that you will feel obligated to help him back.

“Let me help you carry that to your car” will lead to “Can you give me a lift to the corner?”

You leave your home to find your tire flat.

“Let me change that flat tire for you” will be followed by “May I come inside to wash my hands?”

But he WAS the one who punctured the tire in the first place.

Having already accepted his help, he hopes that you feel bad enough to refuse a request like that.

Once inside, you’re a murder victim.

An appeal to a feeling of being vulnerable:

“Help me find my lost puppy before it gets away too far.”

“I need to drop off this medicine to an elderly person upstairs, but I can’t legally park here; just come and sit in my car while I run in for five minutes?”

“My little girl is missing, will you help find her?”

– Not taking,” no”, for an answer-A classic murderer’s tool.

No matter how many times you say, “That’s okay, I don’t need your help,” the stranger insists on helping you.

If you give some weak excuse or sound unsure, he will persist.

Do not be afraid to be loudly blunt and rude: “I said, NO! Go away! I do not want your help!.”

Many are loquacious and charming, but it’s only a ‘tool’ to conceal a demonic intent:

“I’m the most cold-blooded sonofabitch you’ll ever meet,”  said Ted Bundy.

“I just liked to kill, I wanted to kill.”

The signature symptom of the psychopath is his inability to see others as worthy of compassion.

Victims thus become dehumanized, “flattened into worthless objects in the murderer’s mind”.

John Gacy, who never showed an ounce of remorse, called his victims “worthless little queers and punks,” while the “Yorkshire Ripper” Peter Sutcliffe declared that he was “cleaning up the streets” of ‘ human trash’

All of these killings were managed with an initial charming smile, a smile carefully contrived, before a lethal knife or hammer fell.

Would YOU have easily fallen, do you suppose, for one of these “tricks of the trade”?

Would you have been naturally leery enough to survive such tactics or would you be clearly very prone to an evil stranger’s charm and closeness, to become yet another murder victim?

And many rare victims who survived later said, “But, he was so sweet!”

Sweetness, is not the same as being sweet.

Sweetness can be used as a deadly manipulative tool.

A charming smile can mask the most evil intentions.

Once one is alerted to these uniform techniques employed by many incarcerated successful, serial murderers, one can teach one’s spouse, one’s children, one’s colleagues and one’s easily duped friends, to be much less trusting, to raise their fence higher, around themselves, to prevent them  from becoming  the next victims of a murderer.

One must teach one’s loved ones  to be immediately suspect, of any closehand encounter with a stranger, who pretends a stance of authoritarianism, need, or one warmly disarmingly charming,  widely used  tactics that serial killers rely on.

An approaching car, one that passes close by you, while you are out walking late, in an abandoned hour, or in an empty place like a deserted parking lot, could  easily spell death.

A serial  killer, hidden behind the dark car windows, could , at gunpoint, have you, or your wife or daughter within its interiors, within less than five seconds.

They are everywhere and in transit through small towns; be wary, be aware, beware.

One must be taught, instead, to be poised to bolt, to be alarmed by any car’s or person’s close proximity to one, in a lonely place and moment, and to lose one’s sense of blind trust, or blind faith of one’s presumed safety with a total stranger.

The suspicious always appears “ordinary”, until suddenly, it isn’t.

Can anything be done to change and redeem such serial killers’ dark minds and souls?

Capital punishment for such murderers is spiritually counter-intuitive, because after physical death, they linger on this plane and join together with dark others, to accomplish yet more evil than they ever could have when they were alive.

 

This is yet another salient reason to discard the death penalty, unless and until their hearts finally are shifted..

 

One should always avoid and sidestep them, and never tackle them, head on.

Only God can and will “shift” them, in His own time; until such time, don’t talk to strangers..

ANCIENT ALIENS : THE MASQUERADE OF GOD

ANCIENT ALIENS : THE MASQUERADE of GOD

by Paul Schroeder

Ancient Egypt with its amazing pyramids of wondrous construction which still baffles architects and engineers to this day has left many ancient writings that document encounters with small grey-reptilian aliens.

Egypt, however, is not the only place that had been visited by Aliens in ancient times.

There is a plate called ‘The Lolladoff plate’, a 12,000 year old stone dish found in Nepal.
https://badarchaeology.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/lolladoff_colour.jpg?w=1100

It clearly shows a disk shaped UFO at the top of the picture which is very hard to see from the photographed angle of the plate, however.

There is also a figure on the disc which looks remarkably similar to a Grey, to the right on the disc.

Notice the spiral galaxy shape as well, with the alien inside it and the UFO at the beginning of it.

Galaxies commonly come in spiral shapes and this spiral shape is echoed in similar artwork and mandalas throughout India, Egypt and Peru, as well as at other ancient sites like Sumeria where the spiral shape is also seen.

This galaxy spiral and surrounding items suggest that ancients were very aware that greys flew here from another galaxy; as well, the spiral shape does signify their place in our evolution.

Other researchers have suggested that the spiral could reflect their craft energy or could symbolize their involvement with our spiritual eternity.

Other meanings attributed to these spirals are offered by Egyptian ancient tablets in ancient hieroglyphics and by Mayan and Aztec artifact writings but every ancient culture that coexisted with aliens and documented it in artwork seemed to have had inexplicable and most advanced methods in astronomy and spirituality.https://badarchaeology.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/lolladoff_colour.jpg?w=1100

But, demanded religious human sacrifice also features as a token of alien barbarity.

The Old Testament, the best UFO text in existence, contains very accurate descriptions of direct involvement with these superior technological beings.  In our Bible many such close encounters were seemingly accurately documented.

If Abraham’s, Isaiah’s, Ezekiel’s, and Moses’ textual Biblical experiences happened today, they would certainly be interpreted  differently.

The Old Testament Bible is the foremost and best source for examining insidious aliens’ involvement with mankind in the ancient world .

(Director of CIA, Admiral R.H. Hillenkoetter: “It is time for the truth to be brought out in open Congressional hearings. Behind the scenes, high-ranking Air Force officers are soberly concerned about UFOs. But through official secrecy and ridicule, citizens are led to believe the unknown flying objects are nonsense. To hide the facts, the Air Force has silenced its personnel.” p. 58, quoted from New York Times, February 28, 1960, p. L30 )

This book gives us rare insights into how reptilian aliens controlled these ancient desert people, the Hebrews, with imposed laws and rules  recorded in Leviticus, Deuteronomy and Numbers, punishing, restrictive and harshly enforced.

Dietary laws had nothing whatsoever to do with the true nature of God of the universe, but instead with controlling what alien’s (human) food consumed, to make ingesting human flesh safer and less toxic.

Most revealing is the imposed and strictly enforced lethal, exclusionary entry rights into the ‘holy of holies’ where ruling aliens resided.


Alien DNA infusion breeding experiments were done with a whole generation of ‘chosen people’ as forty years in the desert gave rise to a whole new generation fed with ‘manna’ .
For mankind was never seen as a sentient race of beings who deserved equanimity, but instead as a crop of simians with pig DNA , harvest-able  creatures akin to veal, seen as a reptilian food-source, and used as slaves to be farmed throughout the Universe.
https://i1.wp.com/www.veteranstoday.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/alien-midway.jpg

Kosher ‘laws’, and especially alien engineered “manna”, made human food tastier and safer to digest, for reptilians..

 

Muscular, winged, sentient, highly technological, upright standing to eight feet tall, scaled reptilian alien beings, with webbing between their claws, yellow/red cat-like eyes.

These upright saurian ‘monitor lizards Mothmen’,  alien reptilians were the self-same Gods of Nordic, Sumerian, Mayan, Aztec and the ancient Hebrews of the Old Testament Bible.

Humans have long been  a source of food : greys bathe in a solution of human endocrine fluids to absorb them as food through their skin, while reptilians eat babies and youngsters whose flesh isn’t inundated with drugs and chemicals.

 Aliens who masqueraded as God to the ancient Hebrews, who  controlled what their  human food ate, did genetic experiments on them, but O.T. God’s Bible requirement that altar sacrifices’ blood be carefully spilled on all four corners,  reveals Draco reptilian
demonic influences, not divine holiness.
Aboard each UFO craft, in charge, is a reptilian overlord being, quite demon possessed, filled with diabolical rage and malice.
 Juvenile reptoids, joined by other entities in supervision status, transmit down from craft in particle beams, solely to clamber aboard human hosts and thus
UFO craft are a curse upon the Earth.

It’s a chicken-egg syndrome with psychic tampering: do reptoids and small dark greys cause mental illness, like demons or are they attracted to those with mental illness?

Inter-dimensional and intergalactic, reptoids rule the Universe, highly technological and demented.

 

Imagine a city-scape where most people walking around unknowingly have juvenile reptilians ethereally attached to their spinal cords for parasitic feasting.

 

It brings a new definition to the meaning of a silent invasion.
Wisdom and insight in this matter, is rare, as the stench of ignorance prevails even within the UFO research community, itself.

Biblical evidence points to the likelihood that the Ark of the Covenant was structurally designed to act as  an alien transmitter-capacitor/alien weapon technology,

lethal if touched, and was used to communicate with aliens posing as God  to aid Hebrews when it was carried into battle.

“And they shall make an Ark of shittim wood, two cubits and a half shall be the length thereof, and a cubit and a half the breadth thereof, and a cubit and a half the height thereof.

‘And thou shalt overlay it with pure gold, within and without shalt thou overlay it, and shalt make upon it a crown of gold around and all about.”

One of the Gold plates is positively charged and one is negatively charged and together they form the condenser.

If one of the cherubim’s positioned above the Mercy Seat acts as a magnet, then you have the rudimentary requirements of a two way communication set.

The Lord even details what clothing should be worn when consulting the Ark, probably so that no interference is encountered when talking through the device, and also in order to limit the risk of electrocution.

Further proof of the Ark’s many functions can be found in the First Book Of Samuel, Chapter 3:3, when the Ark directly speaks to Samuel:

“And ere the lamp of God went out in the temple of the Lord, where the Ark of God was, and Samuel was laid to sleep.

‘That the Lord called Samuel, and he answered here am I.

‘And he ran unto Eli, and said here am I, for thou calledst me. And he said. I called not, lie down again. And he went and lay down”.

This repeated itself on two more occasions and eventually Eli realized that the Lord was speaking to Samuel via the Ark, and on the fourth occasion Samuel was able to converse with “the Lord”.

The Ark was a communication set, a religious receptacle and a weapon of destruction.

The Ark did have many uses but at times of death and great destruction the Ark was invariably present.

 

 The self-same creatures who perverted Aztec and Mayan cultures with teachings of human sacrifices promulgated and succeeded in insinuating a Bible to spiritually helmet the world.

Our spiritual  God does not contrive highly technological mechanical device weapons, for dreams, inspirations, visions and telepathy  remain His true communications’ network with human minds.

 

Religions’ original sin, is the hubris to presume to have ALL the answers, to , answer the unanswerable concerning the mind of God.
God is  within us and within everything all around us to be seen too easily,.
  down a long hallway and somewhere else, than the Old Testament’s accounts of  magical alien technology mistaken for God’s divine holiness.

 Biblical experiences, seen as clear alien encounters with grey-reptilians clearly point to a long unbroken history chain of close encounters with these entities .

Native American Indians believe that “the Gods live in the clouds in silver canoes”.


The Ainui who live on Hokkaido the northernmost island of Japan have fair skin; unlike the Japanese Mongoloid phenotype their eyes are round and the men have thick facial hair.

Their special language has no written form.

 

Oral traditions passed from parents to children over thousands of years tell that their ancestors came from space-“the same who now live in the clouds in flying saucers.”

 

On a hill in the Saru River valley on Hokkaido stands a monument to this legend.

The inscription states: “this is the place where the first Ainu came to Earth.”

If one would like to know just how ancient alien contact with our planet is, one must examine a quote from a Nobel Prize winning scientist.

Francis Crick, the discoverer of DNA, and Nobel Prize winner published a book which subscribed to the theory of intelligent design, that our universe was not simply the result of a series of chemical accidents.

 

He states:

 

 “Life did not evolve first on Earth, a highly advanced civilization became threatened so they devised a way to pass on their existence.
They genetically-modified their DNA and sent it out from their planet on bacteria or meteorites with the hope that it would collide with another planet.

It did, and that’s why we’re here.”

‘ The DNA molecule is the most efficient information storage system in the entire universe.

The immensity of complex, coded and precisely sequenced information is absolutely staggering. ‘

‘The DNA evidence speaks of intelligent, information-bearing design. Complex DNA coding would have been necessary for even the hypothetical first so-called’ simple cell(s).

Our DNA was encoded with messages from that other civilization.

They programmed the molecules so that when we reached a certain level of intelligence, we would be able to access their information, and they could therefore “teach” us about ourselves, and how to progress; for

life to form by chance is mathematically virtually impossible.”

-(Crick)
This may not be common knowledge among the UFO community elite, but the whole world remains unquestioningly accepts The Old Testament masquerade, deluded by sinister reptilian ET aliens,  to be true  and actual accounts of interactions with God.
Purposefully helmeted in ignorance, we yet remain in darkness, concerning God,
  confounded by  an alien deceptive religious macrocosm, echoed and mirrored by the microcosm, of the abduction experience, itself.

One, taken during R.E.M. sleep,  is held on a short psychic leash, cocooned in a  telepathically controlled delusion, and marched around, within a craft, with only vague memory remnants, to be later dimly recalled, as ‘dreams’.

Awakened to this masquerade, do NOT throw out the baby with the dirty bath water, and lose faith in God.
It is religion, that is “Fake News”.
Didn’t Jesus change the Bible’s moral compass?
Hardly.
If Catholicism didn’t teach pulpit-hatred that Jews murdered Jesus,  Christian Europe wouldn’t have handed over its Jews to the Nazis for vengeful murder, as eagerly as they did.
You can keep any seeming New Testament, inspirations..
As Gandhi said: ‘I like your Christ, but do not, at all, like your Christians.”

As for aliens,

 we are much closer to God, than they…
The stench of ignorance concerning the presence of aliens and their involvement in mankind’s history persists and when it comes to alien tactics and motives with mankind, only UFO craft seen in our skies is narrowly discussed, by ‘researchers’, in a kind of an alien-Jedi–mind-trick, that avoid the pilots’ motives and tactics, such that it makes alien abductees wonder, if there actually is intelligent life on Earth.
Postscript:
“Human beings are under the control of a strange force that bends them in absurd ways, forcing them to play a role in a bizarre game of deception.” – Dr. Jacques Vallee, Messengers of Deception, p. 20
“We are dealing with a multidimensional paraphysical phenomenon which is largely indigenous to planet earth.” – Brad Steiger, [cited in] Blue Book Files Released in Canadian UFO Report, Vol. 4, No. 4, 1977, p. 20
“We are part of a symbiotic relationship with something which disguises itself as an extra-terrestrial invasion so as not to alarm us.” -Terrence McKenna [from a lecture]
“A large part of the available UFO literature is closely linked with mysticism and the metaphysical. It deals with subjects like mental telepathy, automatic writing and invisible entities as well as phenomena like poltergeist [ghost] manifestation and ‘possession.’ Many of the UFO reports now being published in the popular press recount alleged incidents that are strikingly similar to demonic possession and psychic phenomena.” – Lynn E. Catoe, UFOs and Related Subjects: USGPO, 1969; prepared under AFOSR Project Order 67-0002 and 68-0003
“UFO behaviour is more akin to magic than to physics as we know it… the modern UFOnauts and the demons of past days are probably identical.” -Dr. Pierre Guerin, FSR Vol. 25, No. 1, p. 13-14
“The UFO manifestations seem to be, by and large, merely minor variations of the age-old demonological phenomenon…” – John A. Keel, UFOs: Operation Trojan Horse, p. 299
“A working knowledge of occult science…is indispensable to UFO investigation.” -Trevor James, FSR Vol. 8, No. 1, p.10
“Studies of flying saucer cults repeatedly show that they are part of a larger occult social world.” -Stupple & McNeece, 1979 MUFON UFO Symposium Proceedings, p. 49
“The ‘medical examination’ to which abductees are said to be subjected, often accompanied by sadistic sexual manipulation, is reminiscent of the medieval tales of encounters with demons. It makes no sense in a sophisticated or technical framework: any intelligent being equipped with the scientific marvels that UFOs possess would be in a position to achieve any of these alleged scientific objectives in a shorter time and with fewer risks.” – Dr. Jacques Vallee, Confrontations, p. 13
“The symbolic display seen by the abductees is identical to the type of initiation ritual or astral voyage that is embedded in the [occult] traditions of every culture…the structure of abduction stories is identical to that of occult initiation rituals…the UFO beings of today belong to the same class of manifestation as the [occult] entities that were described in centuries past.” -Dr. Jacques Vallee citing the extensive research of Bertrand Meheust [Science-Fiction et Soucoupes Volantes (Paris, 1978); Soucoupes Volantes et Folklore (Paris, 1985)], in Confrontations, p. 146, 159-161
“[The occultist] is brought into intelligent communication with the spirits of the air, and can receive any knowledge which they possess, or any false impression they choose to impart…the demons seem permitted to do various wonders at their request.” – G.H. Pember, Earth’s Earliest Ages and Their Connection with Modern Spiritualism and Theosophy (1876), p. 254
“These entities are clever enough to make Streiber think they care about him. Yet his torment by them never ceases. Whatever his relationship to the entities, and he increasingly concludes that their involvement with him is something ‘good,’ he also remains terrified of them and uncertain as to what they are.” – John Ankerberg, The Facts on UFOs and Other Supernatural Phenomena, p. 21
“I became entirely given over to extreme dread. The fear was so powerful that it seemed to make my personality completely evaporate… ‘Whitley’ ceased to exist. What was left was a body and a state of raw fear so great that it swept about me like a thick, suffocating curtain, turning paralysis into a condition that seemed close to death…I died and a wild animal appeared in my place.” – Whitley Streiber, Communion, p. 25-26
“Increasingly I felt as if I were entering a struggle that might even be more than life and death. It might be a struggle for my soul, my essence, or whatever part of me might have reference to the eternal. There are worse things than death, I suspected… so far the word demon had never been spoken among the scientists and doctors who were working with me…Alone at night I worried about the legendary cunning of demons …At the very least I was going stark, raving mad.” – Whitley Streiber, Transformation, p. 44-45
“I wondered if I might not be in the grip of demons, if they were not making me suffer for their own purposes, or simply for their enjoyment.” – Whitley Streiber, Transformation, p. 172
“I felt an absolutely indescribable sense of menace. It was hell on earth to be there [in the presence of the entities], and yet I couldn’t move, couldn’t cry out, couldn’t get away. I’d lay as still as death, suffering inner agonies. Whatever was there seemed so monstrously ugly, so filthy and dark and sinister. Of course they were demons. They had to be. And they were here and I couldn’t get away.” – Whitley Streiber, Transformation, p. 181
“Why were my visitors so secretive, hiding themselves behind my consciousness. I could only conclude that they were using me and did not want me to know why…What if they were dangerous? Then I was terribly dangerous because I was playing a role in acclimatizing people to them.” – Whitley Streiber, Transformation, p. 96
https://badarchaeology.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/lolladoff_colour.jpg?w=1100
BIO:
 Abductions and their remnant elusive memories have opened all this for Paul, a confirmed atheist, UNTIL Paul saw aliens float him out of his body, in his bed, at night.
Then, he knew that they were interested in an essence that he never suspected that he had: a nonphysical soul.
Our spiritual powers that interest and addict interdimensionals are the very powers that can be used to thwart further attacks.
They infect auras with attachments to themselves and ride the reincarnation roller coaster with human beings, as a sanctuary, to avoid the death that they fear and to steal the spiritual recycling that we have.
Souls are garnered, detoured from our natural spiritual evolution in Heaven.
These joyriding grays can be sinister, discorporate alien souls, stuck to our energies, who bring a new meaning to the concept of a silent invasion. ​

 

 

MILITARY COMBAT MEMORY OF MY FATHER


COMBAT AND MILITARY MEMORY OF MY FATHER : I COULD HAVE TOLD HIM THAT I LOVED HIM

Paul Schroeder

Combat and Military Memory of my Father: I Could Have Told Him That I Loved Him
by Paul Schroeder
My father parachuted into Germany and was captured that same week; he and his Screaming Eagles company buddies were holed up in a farmhouse armed with machine guns when a Tiger Tank rolled up to it and put its muzzle into a window and fired.
He recalled his ferocious gnawing hunger and told me that at the prisoner of war camp at night, when he slept, mice would creep into his buttoned shirt vest pocket to steal the few crumbs of bread he had hidden there before he could awaken and slap his pocket.
He weighed eighty-eight pounds when he was liberated.
At another time, on a work detail outside and beyond the barbed wire fence, he saw a skeletal group of Jews, literally walking skeletons, and in abject pity he threw a piece of his bread over a fence to them, which they all frantically scrambled for.
The supervising German sergeant of those doomed Jews saw him do this and walked over to him and put a Luger into my father’s mouth and pulled the trigger.
The gun misfired.
Twice.
His mind and lifelong emotional mental state were never the same after that incident, and for the rest of his life he remained tortured, an unhappy and mostly unpleasant man.
He would, many years later, angrily retrieve moldy bread and brown wilted lettuce from the trash, raging about ,’wasted food’, and we all learned that for our peace of mind, food garbage had to be thrown into the incinerator, long before he came home, from work.
He told me that he witnessed the killings of women who had assisted anti-Nazi resistance fighters, women who were hung from piano wires in a slow strangulation that delighted and entertained the German Waffen S.S.
But he seemed calm telling me that it took some over an hour to die, in this fashion, from this form of German murder, for the the slimmest, most lightweight women who were hanged, struggled longer against their nooses.
The prisoner of war camp’s confinement had chafed his soul.
Even long after the war he could escape the inglorious restraints and confinements of marriage and work , by seeking the open ocean to fish for striped bass and bluefish.
He loved fishing more than anything or anyone, in his life, and ached for fishing, to be free and alone on a landscape of waves, with only gulls for company.
He spent all of his spare time, nights and weekends, alone on the open Atlantic ocean, a peaceful landscape of land escape, far from dangerous and murderous distant coastlines.
When he thought that I was old enough to be of assistance to him, he brought me into his escapist world of fishing solitude, and far out on the waters of the Atlantic, far from any constricting shore, told me his memories, of a horrific war. .
When I was young, eight, nine and ten years of age, my father woke me every Friday night at 2:00 A.M. and by three fifteen A.M. we were out in the waters of Long Island, in his boat, fishing for striped bass and bluefish until the sun came up and fish stopped feeding and taking lures.
We watched the gulls; wherever they were raucous and feeding, we caught many large fish, as schools were underneath, forcing the bait to the surface, which attracted the birds. It was a foolproof technique.
After the sun came up, we sat and jigged the bottom for fluke and flounders, languid bottom feeders, while we sat under the shade of the Marine Parkway Bridge.
Bereft of the engine’s roar and the slap of the waves against a speeding hull, we sat, and he would speak to me of the horrors he had seen.
Every weekend of my youth was spent this way, catching large fish.
I was agog and seasick for days afterwards.
The pitched sickness of the waves, the sharp sour stink of fish, the stench of gasoline from the engine, the foul pungent odor of the, ‘piss-can’ and his poignant recollections of the horrors that he had seen during the war, combined to make me deathly ill, each time that we fished together..
I envisioned deep trenches in the furrows of the waves, filled with sobbing, and doomed families of Jews, as German Waffen S.S. driven bulldozers, pushed tons of soil atop them, to bury them, alive.
Once, after listening to such tales, told to me in his low, monotone voice, I eventually noticed that each time I netted and landed a fish into the boat, the water would swirl and splash a few seconds afterwards, and I asked my father the cause of this bizarre occurrence.
He blithely told me, casting a lure from the boat, that the fish’s mate would break the water, seeking his lost mate, following after, in a futile search.
In that moment, with the boat at my feet filled with flopping fish, jaws gaping in airy suffocation, the horrors in his stories resurfaced:
dead children in the streets, who resembled dolls, their jaws and eyes open,
skeletal Jews with pleading eyes,
children murdered before their parents’ eyes,
of a Waffen S.S. who used his machine pistol to separate a close knit family, and of their wails of separation, which years later, would ring in my father’s head.
I suddenly realized, in horror, that each swirl and splash of water, after I had pulled one fish into the boat, was a mate and thus a broken heart, that fish were individuals, with feelings, and not just mere products!
The horror of fish, dead and dying at my feet, of loved ones’ final, forceful separation, in a frozen moment, broke my young heart, and I found and resolved, that I could no longer bear to catch, or to ever again, eat fish.
Recalling these memories is not a freeing and therapeutic catharsis, instead I feel a sad nostalgia, a morbid whimsy .
As a writer, it is difficult to capture the strained, forced familiarity of families’ troubled interactions, governed by fruits of traumas, into words.
I have carefully locked the vault door against the worst recollections, the horrors of living with him; he had absorbed the repeated brutality of his experiences.
Throughout life, he radiated the same heavy-handed violence to those all around him, using fists, where a word, instead, might suffice.
Those recollections, if unlocked behind my mind’s protective vault doors, would make these experiences, herein, pale, by comparison.
When I can hazard to open those vault doors, doors made of three feet of steel, therapeutic and freeing might then ensue.
Debriefing combat troops, is still nonexistent; one arrives fresh from combat to San Diego Airport or Kennedy International Airport.
The injuries that our most recent troops have sustained in Iraq and Afghanistan, unseen and unmeasured injuries, are deep and painful scars on their souls; many, after drug and alcohol addiction fails to assuage their grief, take their own lives, in suicides suffering from combat angst beyond words.
I recall General Patton coming under criticism for slapping the face of and calling a coward, a young soldier, in a field hospital, who was trembling, with severe shell shock.
Even the military fails to understand what happens to America’s young men who have been taught all of their lives,”Thou shalt not kill”, after they are trained to be killing machines and then aptly fill the job description for a tour of duty.
Americans must unite to reluctantly resolve to fight a broader world war with ISIS, for though America does NOT want war, WAR wants America.
America, is NOT at war, for America is busy shopping in malls; our military, however, IS at war.
Their souls are forever tainted, degraded and crippled by official legal murders.
How is one to understand?
Rather than wrongly judging that my father wallowed in these memories, he instead was surely drowning, within a deeper struggle, far removed from self pity.
Though he never once told me, within the recollections of the circle of my life, that he loved me, I found that I instead should have told him then, and often, that I loved him .
EPILOGUE:
Just before he died, at eighty-four, after a lifetime of no contact with him, I visited him at the Saint Albans Veterans Hospital Facility.
How I learned that he was there, is a paranormal story beyond belief, but one reserved for another time.
Even after a stroke and a heart attack, confined to a wheelchair, his bristling aggression and smoldering anger had still radiated.
He had angrily cursed God, when I did mention God, to him; he had repeatedly cursed God, saying that there was no God and as proof, offered me what he had seen, of the long ago mass murders of Jewish infants and children, by Ukrainians and Nazi Waffen S.S. troops.
He had repeated that because of raw evil allowed to run rampant, he was thus an atheist, one who didn’t believe a single word about God and then, he had openly cursed God, again.
I had chided him by saying that although God WAS all loving, that even God, might get annoyed, to be cursed so.
Slowly, I had realized an element of rescue,  a spiritual coup de’ grace; I had been driven by unseen forces, after twenty-five years of no contact,  to bring along to his bedside, a spiritual message to deliver to him.
I said that he was wrong; that the proof of God only seemed so invisible because it was too merged within our consciousness and within everything all around us, to be too easily detected.
I had told him that I had, over years of learning, away from him, become psychic enough to glean more:
that we are NOT people, having spiritual/ paranormal experiences, but are  undying spirits, within a DNA nanotech-contrived housing, instead, having human experiences.
That we ‘step out of’ our bodies at death, as we do our cars and our clothing, in physical life.
And we are no more our bodies, I had said, than we are our clothing, or our vehicles.
I had assured him that I had learned that our consciousness actually reincarnated often, to learn spiritual lessons, that God gives us many lifetimes to refine our souls and to learn lessons that we set out for ourselves.
With some pride, I had reminded him that his lifetime’s recollections of horrid war experiences, revealed a braver and nobler inner spirit, than most, to have chosen such harsh and horrid lessons.
He quietly listened, with no vague inkling of acceptance.
A week later, preparing to visit him, again, I got a phone call from the hospital that he had passed in the night from a second and final heart attack.
Some months later, while I was playing my bass guitar, (playing music, much like sleep, or hypnotic television watching seems to suppress my left brain’s blocking aspect, and paranormal experiences occur) in my living room, his face suddenly loomed into my mind’s eye and I suddenly felt his closeness.
Instead of an accompanying sad heaviness, his energy radiated a youthful joyous presence.
Stunned, I psychically acknowledged him, with love, but also with great worry; I cautiously admonished him for hazarding to linger so on this plane, and asked him to quickly jump into the Light.
His accompanying joy, a mixture of freedom from worry, from bedworn immobility, from war-time sadness, with an element of love and thanks, thrilled me.
Perhaps, I had I had been sought to deliver that message, to him, in much needed time.